The Squirrel Saviour

It's been another eventful week at the Grand Almond Hotel. Our managers seem to have gone away on holiday at the same time, so the kids are in charge!

I had an odd encounter the other day. I received a phone call from the chefs saying that there was a squirrel stuck in a bin behind the kitchens, and could I help them. Why don't they just tip the bin over, I thought. However, when I got there, I realised that that wouldn't have helped.

We have large green wheely skips outside the kitchens, where all the waste food goes. In the bottom of them is a hole, about 4 inches in diameter, in which sits a plug. If you want to clean the skip, you take the plug out and hose it down.

One of the bins was missing its plug, and a squirrel, lured by the smell of food, decided to poke his head up through the hole and start eating. He then became too fat to fit back through the hole. So, this poor squirrel was wedged, top half in the skip, bottom half outside it, panicking.

So, I grabbed some thick gloves from the grounds staff and climbed into the bin. My first idea was to try to push it back down. However, the squirrel was so fat, it wouldn't move down. So, I held my gloved hand close to its mouth (it bit into the glove), and I very gently pulled, while massaging and gently squeezing it. After a short time, its hips came up through the hole, and it was free.

I received a round of applause from the kitchen staff, who had come to watch, and was proclaimed the Squirrel Saviour. If there were any more trapped squirrels, then I was now the man to call upon.

Another interesting thing happened this week (although not as interesting as Squirrelgate). We have a regular guest called Miss Jessica leMuir. She is a retired actress, having performed on the stage for years. Whenever she visits, we have to change the rotas, for Miss Jessica despises men. She is very quick to anger at any man who tries to be nice to her. So, when she visits, we make sure there are women on reception, and waitresses in the restaurant and bar.

She has started to take a liking to me. She was very happy when I brought her breakfast, and she smiles at me as we pass in the corridors. I don't know what I've done, but it's nice to be the only man she likes.

That's about it for this week.

Oh. On a sidenote, I saw Sir Ian McKellen on my day off, going down the escalators at Tottenham Court Road station. I was going up at the time. It was definitely him, because he was talking to a woman who was with him, and he has quite a distinctive voice.